Bubbles surveying her current domain. As her expression suggests, not everything meets with her approval.

(Please note:  the intended audience for this blog is in the 3rd grade; this narrative takes great liberties with the literal truth and absolutely no treaty violations occurred).

My daughter Scout has asked repeatedly that I bring her home a seal from Antarctica.  She thinks they’re cuddly and the word “cute” often occurs in multiples (cute cute cute!).  I have repeatedly warned her that it’s not so much cuddling as being squished when a full-grown Weddell weighs about a thousand pounds.  But being 8 years old,  she has an authoritative grasp of the world,  and simply replies “Then find a small one”.   I hear, my princess, and obey.

So I put out the word;  I may not hold a position of power in the “Scoutiverse” but I do have minions of my own, at least here in McMurdo.  Fortunately Minako ran into the small white critter pictured above, and encouraged her to talk to me a bit.  Most of the conversation was in the form of gestures,  big-eyed glances and disregarded offers of fish,  but I’ll share the gist of it.

Me: Hello little seal,  what is your name?

Bubbles:   My name is Bubbles.  Minako told me that you work for the Princess of the known universe?   I want to be a princess!

Me (measuring my words carefully): What a wonderful thing to aspire to!  Becoming a princess requires carefully choosing your parents,  something that is very difficult for most.  I might be able to help you with that.

Bubbles:   Hmmmph.  You don’t look like royalty.  What’s the catch?

Me: My daughter is unquestionably the Princess of the Known Universe.  She has the gowns, the attitude, the servants,  everything. I am her father, but I dress like common folk so as not to draw attention from her.  And she’s always willing to adopt suitably haughty and elegant creatures.

Bubbles (rolling eyes):  Sure, uh huh,  right.  How often do you eat fish?

Me:  I think we have fish a couple times a week on average.

Bubbles:  Yuck.  I hate fish.  How often do you serve corn dogs? With the good ketchup, not the horrible kind…..?

Me:  Wait a minute-  you hate fish?  You’re a seal, don’t you eat fish every……

Bubbles (in a loud exasperated voice):  FISH ARE YUCKY! A PRINCESS HAS THE DIVINE RIGHT TO DECLARE ANY FOOD YUCKY NO MATTER HOW TASTY OR WHOLESOME! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?!?

Me: Oooohkay.  That shows your qualifications for the royal family are above question.  Should I recommend you to Scout?

Bubbles:  You’re trying to make me angry, aren’t you?   Tell Scout her new and best princess is on her way and to prepare for my arrival.

Me:  Indeed.   Let me escort you to your transport,  your highness……….

At that point I grabbed the little seal and stuffed her deep into my luggage. Don’t worry, she’s got plenty of things to play with in there, it’s safe and warm.  I just can’t hear her, thank goodness.

-posted by rph from McMurdo